I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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