They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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