he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
