I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Can I color on your dick again?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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