some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
