none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
