you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
