i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
