Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
