I wish I only lived at night.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
My vagina is officially offended.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
