I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
