Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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