She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
