You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
