You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
