As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
