That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
