I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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