it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
