If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
