I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize