u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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