where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
