how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
