there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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