oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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