My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
