Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
