You're completely useless in the revolution.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
