you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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