I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
