that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
