i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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