Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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