i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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