you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
