i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize