Can i not drive my cunt home
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
