i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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