all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
