today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I wear drunk well.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
