I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize