you guys were way drunker than both of me
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We just shotgunned beers for America
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
