I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
