Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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