I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
