I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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