Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
