is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
