so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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