there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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