Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize