so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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