erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
