Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
