shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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