Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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