I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
