if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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