Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
