He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
