So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Randomize
