Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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