I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
