so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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