i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
