Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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