sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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