What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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