i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
