How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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